Secret mole in Redmond reports
reported by agent Fedor; Penguin Intelligence Agency
As a PIA mole in Redmond I have been attending top-secret meetings held shortly after the Glorious PLA TET (Tactical Error Testing) offensive this summer.
I took some subversive snapshots with my Linux based ImCoSys dual-mode GPS smartphone. Photos and audio records have been sent on-line to the hidden Antarctic PIA HQ through integrated wi-fi.
Microsoft Chief Research & Strategy Officer Craig Mundie laments the widening gap between MS and PLA technologies to 350 nervous MS shareholders. "How far behind are we? At least this much", said the visibly nervous executive, "but trust me, it's going to get a lot worse." |
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Robbie Bach (L), president of Microsoft’s Entertainment & Devices Division, share his experiences in battle against the PLA with other depressed executives. "And then the PLA hit us so hard our grandchildren will be hurting." he says. |
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Microsoft Chief Software Architect Ray Ozzie asks God: "Why you did it to us?" |
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Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer outlines the company's escape strategy at the MS Meeting. "We're trying to avoid a panicked retreat. From the graph, you can see that the PLA continues to grow, while we are being reduced to a pitiful remnant of our former selves." The new strategy includes desperate financial measures: "We're going to put all our remaining resources into television sitcoms and cold-fusion reactor technology in a desperate attempt to save ourselves." |
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